Friday, June 02, 2006

Getting Used to Hell

It is soooooo freeaaaakkking HOT out here.

Yes, i live in a tropical paradise called Manhattan, este Manila. Some say this is the land of the brown monkey, yet i'd say this is the land of the free mongers. But anyway, if you live in the Philippines, it is like living in Satan's Quarters, where demons and dragons are everywhere. You see them on newspapers most of the time, minus the late blooming demonic horns, which everyone knows will SOON come out anyway. Most usually talk about their lost congressional pork barrels, and the value anus tax.

But now that it is summer, it is sooooo HOOTTT that you'd think this is a prelude to HELL. People here are so used to living in hellish conditions anyway, hell will be a garden of eden for some, and a walk in the park for most others. Walking in the streets of Manila nowadays would entail a great amount of sunblock.

Yet, isnt it fun? Satan brought Boracay to MANILA. Yahooo!!!

Plus of course, the complimentary soot, dust and pollution brought along to acclimatize the populace for what's lurking when they meet Mr. S himself. Believe me, Filipinos are a very resilient people, and they will even throw a grand party in hell. But he better watch out and keep his guard, coz a COUP might be in the outing. Or He'll soon find himself needing extra powers to keep his swarms of demonic army intact.

Monday, May 29, 2006

How to Cook Your Daughter

Who in the world would agree to publish this book!! These guys are definitely more lunatic than I am. I just cant help but laugh myself out when i saw this book last Saturday. Dont we have some sort of regulating agency for printed materials? Man, you guys are more savage than I am. Talking about creative ways to sell huh!

But then again, maybe I should reinvent the wheel and write a new book too, the title - "1001 Ways to Cook Your Balls." With a special insert on "Marinating Your Balls in Chili Sauce."

Am thinking the menu will probably have these:

1. Sweet and Sour Balls
2. Fillet O Balls
3. Big Balls on Curry Sauce
4. Ground Balls on Szechuan Sauce
5. Fried Dick on Tartar Sauce
6. Honey Roasted Balls in Lemon Sauce
7. Hand Pulled Balls with Noodles
8. Burger Balls with Cheese

And my favorite, Mashed Balls with Gravy Sauce. The Iron Chefs should learn something from me once in awhile. And maybe you guys can add some more of your creatively juiced nuts!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Hitlerically insane ideas from my deranged mind

Sometimes i get this weird feeling that i do need some tests done in the local mental hospital. Not that am getting out of control, but just to see if my insanely weird ideas are brought about by me being mentally deficient. Wow, a nice term for simply being nuts!

While trying to go blog surfing early this morning, i came upon this site featuring several pictures of innocently trashy looking dogs. It's a dog blog i think, and i happen to see this freaking picture of one pug with his obnoxiously large eyes that seems to fucking look like a 10,000 watt spotlight. Not that i hate dogs, though i do hate my girlfriend's COCKING spaniel who everytime he sees me, would absolutely go berserk wanting to somehow cut my head off.

Oooohhh, I'd always wanted to kick that damn cocker so hard, he'd fall off fifteen steps to the ground with his minutely idiotic brain splattering all over the steps and walls of her house, all the way down to their garage. No wonder i like seeing that darn dog off to the vet clinic... , and telling myself, "hehehhe - YOU'RE gonna get bbaaaaalllldddd!!!

SKIN his butt off DOC!!"